abbsquake, the blog

Bag Lady

Dear Madam,

We regret to inform you that your eye bags exceeded the maximum dimension and/or weight restrictions permitted for carry-on items. In addition, we were unable to safely stow them in the lower luggage compartment. Therefore you will need to contact our oversize baggage department to retrieve your under-eye parcels. You can reach the department customer service representative 24 hours a day at 1-800-EYE-BAGS.

To prevent situations like this in the future, we recommend that you cut back on caffeine, pick back up with your yoga practice, attempt to better regulate overnight bedroom ambient temperatures, invest in a larger bed, avoid eating and/or drinking after 8PM, and utilize earplugs and/or white noise devices, and possibly even a melatonin supplement in attempt to regain a normal sleep routine.

We offer our sincerest apologies for any inconvenience that this has caused. IsomniAIR, Inc. appreciates your business, but for your sake, hopes that we will not be serving you again in the near future.

No Rest for the Weary,

Up N. Atem, Eye Baggage Services Supervisor

This entry was published on January 12, 2012 at 11:24 AM and is filed under Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

One thought on “Bag Lady

  1. Oh no! Sleepless nights are bad news! I wasn’t sleeping well for the months surrounding my foot surgery, and I finally realized that it was because I was missing out on my walks and not getting enough exercise.

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